The Social Aspect of Change

You've decided to make changes in your life. To lose weight, change bad habits, put on muscle, or set goals that require a lot of effort. Your priorities change. And the more you push towards a newer version of yourself, everything about you changes. And then you learn the one of the more challenging aspects of change.

The reality of setting out in a new direction for yourself, means you're going to have to leave people behind. Not everyone will fit in the proverbial car, or in more cases than we probably realize, they'll downright refuse to come along for the ride.

This is one of the painful parts of changing anything in life. Sometimes it's a change in your health goals and priorities. You change your lifestyle. You stop partying, staying out late, or going on weekend binges. You start going to bed early and working out, but the people with whom you used to do all of the things you have now stopped doing don't choose the same path. So slowly, but surely, your connection to them fades until it was all but non-existent.

Or perhaps you move away. Like the classic Hallmark trope of the young kid who moves to the big city and returns home, no one recognizes you or how a new environment shapes you. Everything about you has been shaped by the world around you, and inevitably some people just wont' jive with it.

But change is hard-wired into your DNA, and embracing the things that come as a byproduct of change is crucial to your future success.

When we look at who you are from a physiological standpoint, you're essentially a huge mass of varying cells which have all decided to work together. The crazy thing is, those cells are reproducing and dying at a alarmingly high rate (some faster than others). And with every reproduction, it codes new instructions on how to survive in your current environment based on what the dying cell went through. Each new cell has small micro-changes compared to its predecessor.

And with those small changes, they lose something. They lose something which is no longer necessary. Or they lose something which no longer serves a purpose. This is natural, and actually desirable. If all of the same things are still present even though though they no longer serve a purpose, they steal precious resources from the cell which is trying to preserve itself in the environment.

Getting your health together, or shifting your training style, will often have the same impact. I know a guy who set out to lose a lot of weight. And as he did, he lost friends and a community he'd spent a lot of time in. Not because of a noticeable falling out, but they were associated with a lifestyle and environment he no longer engaged in. He made new friends who were supporting his journey and his life improved.

I'll give you a personal example. I shifted my training to being more holistic and a bit more running focused over the last two years. As a result, my friends who were powerlifters and weightlifters have slowly started disappearing from my life. A number of them stopped following me on social media and unsubscribed to my newsletter. Some of them won't even talk to me if they see me in the gym anymore. Do I miss them? Sure, I miss them at times, but I've also made new friends and tightened my circle a bit as a result.

So for those of you out there (and note, I'm partially writing this for myself) who are in the midst of making positive changes, and you're struggling with losing some of the people who were close to you in the years leading up to it, don't sweat it. In the end, the people you're trying to stay attached are changing in a different direction. You can mourn a relationship or social group, but know that with the new changes come new communities and relationships which will help further your growth.

---

If you're looking to change physically, I want to point you to our 4-Week Fitness Reset. A free guide to getting you on the pathway to change. If you're someone whose ready to make changes in your life, this 4-Week guide gets the ball rolling. Click the button below and we'll send it straight to you for free!

Take Me To The Guide!