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July 6th, 2024: Half a Decade Later

On July 6th, 2019, I got out of bed with full intention of taking my own life. Burnt out, anxious, depressed, and struggling with a major identity crisis, I had hit rock bottom. Obviously, by the mere fact this article is being written (as it has been each year), my intentions were thwarted before any attempt was made to follow through. It seems God puts the right people in the right place, at exactly the right time.

Now, half a decade later, my memory of these events has grown fuzzier and fuzzier. At times, I myself question whether or not they actually happened. As if they were some far off notion of an occurrence. But now, for the first time due to leap years, today lines up to be on a Saturday, just like it was then. But the circumstances I find myself in today are far better, and more joyful than I ever could have imagined back then.

In 2020, I recounted the first year passed and how I'd learned the importance of rest in all aspects of life.

In 2021, amidst another season of hardship, I wrote about learning to embrace pain and its byproducts (with some great level of naivete).

In 2022, I wrote about perseverance, and how we often forget to move forward even when we can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

In 2023, I shared my experience of standing in the gap for someone else, just as someone had done for me.

Now, an additional year removed from all of these things, I look back at how much a year can change us. I got engaged in December. I got married three months ago, which is something I never thought I'd do. I start a job at a high school at the end of this month, which is something I've wanted to do for longer than I've been writing these blogs, and the right opportunity came about in the span of two weeks to finally do so. I have watched friendships rise, and then fizzle out. I've found a new love for all-included vacations and cruises. I've watched Littauer Strength Training struggle to navigate some bleak months, and make astounding gains in other areas.

Looking back at all of this, I cannot help but remember how final I thought my situation was years ago. Like I couldn't change. When we are low, we are often so caught in the moment we forget how much life can have its trajectory reversed in a short time frame.

You're not stuck, you're just waiting to make a U-Turn.

Admittedly, this year and its reflections have had me thinking a lot about change. So much can change in a short time, and we often forget how fast our fortunes can turn. For the worse, but also for the better. Your life can be far better than you imagine it being in the lowest moments you may find yourself in. We just have to be patient, and continue to take action towards moving forward in some manner.

Now change, regardless of whether it is positive or negative, can be hard. But hardship can produce many great things, and give our lives senses of meaning. It has not been easy to say goodbye the athletes and clients I have worked with in person for the last 1-5 years. But it is bitter sweet knowing the opportunities and experiences waiting for me on the other side are vast. And these changes can happen fast and be over in an instant.

So this year, while I find myself in the midst of a lot of change, I can't help but be grateful for the speed at which is comes. My fortunes, and even my hardships, have taught me many lessons in the last few years. But life can be just like the weather: give it five minutes and it will change. If you find yourself now in a low spot, keep this in mind. There is hope, and peace, in knowing it will not always be like this.

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Thank GOD you are here! I’m thrilled when I see a post from Littstrength! I read ‘em all Nathanael.

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